Story Time: My Childhood

My childhood wasn't particularly bad. I was an only child in a lower-middle class family that later became a middle class to upper-middle class family. (I really don't know where we range now.) My parents cared about me, they never abused me.... well.... I remember a time my dad used to punch me but around when I turned 10, he stopped that. My mom used to yell at me all the time, too. But again, around 10, that stopped as well... They became less angry and more loving. But with that came expectations. I had to always do well in school. I was forced to choose grades over socializing; not like I had many friends anyways. My parents sheltered me.
When I was five, my mom taught me how to install programs on my computer, and I was never allowed to go very far from the house. Even when I was 13, almost 14, I wasn't allowed to use the bus systems to go places, yet I could walk anywhere I wanted. My parents told me they weren't taxi cabs, so if I wanted to go anywhere, I walked. Being born in Vegas, walking's pretty easy. Everything is flat and it's a grid. So literally walking 2+ miles without stopping in the middle of summer was not a problem, as long as I had water so I didn't dehydrate.
One time, though, I did suffer from heat exhaustion and entered the nearest 7-11 to cool down. And this kid I had a crush on was there. I remember him. His name was Taylor. He would act so mean around me in front of everybody but when we were alone, he was so kind to me. He pulled out a chair from the back (since his mother worked at the 7-11) and helped me sit down in it. He got me some water and helped me drink it since my hands were too shakey to grab the cup properly. I even had cuts on the back of my ankles from the shoes I was wearing and he put bandaids on them. He asked if I was okay, and I just nodded, awestruck at the change in personality. Another time was when I was crying on a sidewalk shortly after my grandpa passed away. It was nighttime and I was supposed to be spending the night at my cousins' but I had left to go for a walk... He was alone and nobody was outside or anything and he sat down next to me. He held me close and pet my head and told me everything would be okay and that he didn't like seeing me cry. But then there were times he'd make fun of me in the presence of others. Like in our choir class, he sat behind me and randomly pet my head just to get a laugh out of the people that saw him do it. Then another time, while he was skateboarding down the road he made kissy faces at me, but then he said "I love you" and that really threw me  off.
Anyways, Taylor was a handful and he lived in the neighborhood where my best friend used to live. I remember him because his actions were the oddest of my encounters. I also remember a time when I was walking to my best friend's house and my dad was trying to offer me a ride at a stop light, but I didn't recognize him because I couldn't see him that well (around the time my glasses had been stolen off my face, so I was using my dad's old prescription of glasses because they were closest to my then eyesight). I got scared and took off the moment the light said I could walk. My friend said she'd never seen me run so fast (which she along with her mother were waiting for me) on the other side of the crosswalk. Then her mom offer my Shrek glasses, to which my friend and I thought she meant like.... glasses for your face. No, she meant like glass cups.
All in all, my parents aren't too bad. In fact, the friends I bring over always tell me my parents are awesome. And they are. I'm 20 years old and I'm living rent-free and they haven't threatened to kick me out. I'm very fortunate. I mean, my best friend's the same way but her mom... isn't so awesome. Her mom's a bit of a druggie and her dad's a bit on the "no" side for parenting. I guess the major thing my parents did wrong is neglect me. They didn't like starve me or anything, but they weren't as affectionate and didn't give me enough love as a child. I was basically sent off to play on the computer or video games so my parents didn't have to deal with me. Maybe that's why I want to be loved so much. Because I'm starved for love. Because I was neglected the love I craved as a child so now I try to reach out for it.... because I just want to know that I'm worth loving now.